Last night I fell asleep thinking about “two years.” It doesn’t seem like such a long time in the grand scheme of things. No. But then I got to thinking about what was going on in my life two years ago (with August 2006 serving as the point of reference), and uh… two years. Yeah. Whoa.

Let’s see. 730 days from August 23, 2006 ago, I was going into my senior year of college. I had just returned to the USA after having studied abroad in Ireland for a whopping few weeks. Danny and I were still together, and I hadn’t even met half of the people who currently mean the world to me. I had Super Blonde hair, only a budding appreciation for microbrews and R Kelly, and major intelligence issues. I thought I’d never make it to Austin (which had forever been a dream of mine—getting to Austin and then making it in Austin, heh), and I didn’t think I’d actually follow through with that crazy Peace Corps idea I’d prattled on and off with since freshman year.

Here in the now, I read journal entries written in that period and wonder what the eff was going on in my effing head??? It’s almost as if the me in August of 2004 never existed at all; all of those memories now play out in my conscious like misty segments of a dream. Or muted reruns of a crappy weekday TV serial (and I don’t mean My So-Called Life; I thought that one was pretty cool). Man, how my ambitions have changed. A lot of stuff has happened since then—mainly, a significant shifty-shift in the ol’ value system. To think that that same chunk of time will come to pass while I’m living here in Kazakhstan. Yikes. That’s not a terrifying thought.

I fear that I am doomed to a life of [blissful and clueless? hopefully...] eccentricity after what I’ll have experienced in this place. This country is swiftly making a right weirdo out of me— or maybe it’s only accentuating the right weirdo that is already in me—whatever, you get the gist. After two years with no one to check me on this detrimental weirdo behavior, my social graces might end up permanently altered for the worst by the end of it. On the flip side I’ve always been a Gonzo fan, but I digress.

I’m quite certain that 2006 has been the greatest year of my life. I’ve never been able to say anything like that on a New Year’s Eve and mean it. Feels good, ya know. Like hangin’ my hat after a hard day in the sun. But now I worry.

After two years, will I have forgotten how much I loved my life as it was in 2006? What if— after all that time passes—I get bored one day and decide to reflect on an old journal entry. Say, the entry that I wrote yesterday. Will I have to fight the sudden, familiar urge to vomit all over the hopes and dreams that were once so important to me? It’s certainly plausible that what compels me to wake up in the morning today may induce nausea two years from now. I suppose it’s all a matter of attitude (and by the looks of it, my attitude isn’t quite where it should be. The PC pseudo-shrink warned us about a depression phase that typically hits around the 5-6th month). Hopefully, I’ll have hung one more New Year hat by the end of my service.

Other news:

* A transformer self-destructed, and we lost electricity on Xmas Eve. Spent evening cold, alone, and in the dark. It wasn’t so bad. It was kind of hilarious, and I needed “me time” anyway.

* Experienced first earthquake on Xmas Eve while on the phone with family at 2:00 am. I didn’t feel it at all, but my flashlight rattled mysteriously on the floor.

* Attended Cvadba (a Turkish wedding reception). Made embarrassing speech on microphone in front of 300 guests and professional video entourage. Speech literally translated to: Hello...uh.. I am happy... Here, good... Kazakhstan, good... People kind.... Weddings, uh.... also good. Thank yo-boobity-boo-boo-boo… I was unsure about formal phrasing for “thank you,” so I trailed off in gibberish. Spent remainder of evening dancing, scowling, and fending off drunken men.

* Watched Cvadba video the following weekend with groom’s family. It was almost as bad as the first go-round.

* Every day I remind myself more and more of Shrek. I’ve gained 25 pounds. I’m grumpy and often green in the face. People stare. I only bathe, well, not as often as I used’ta. It's amazingly tolerable now. I’ll know I have a real problem when I no longer find my body’s natural odor repulsive but intriguing. (It’s only a matter of time…)

* I am a chronic parenthetical speaker